Wasn't on my list...

Have you ever had a to do list that is a mile long, maybe not literally, but it sure does feel that way. A list that has tons of "could dos", plenty more "should dos" and even more of the "need to dos", but none of them are "have to dos" and most certainly no where to be found are the "want to dos". That is what my list looks like today.


I sometimes feel like Taylor in this picture. It was taken this past winter at a local park. She tried and tried and tried some more to reach the platform at the top of the rope. There was one failed attempt after another.

There are so many things that need to get done on my to do list today, well everyday and there isn't one thing that I have to do. I'm finding it difficult to motivate myself when I don't even have a deadline that I can procrastinate to. I work great under pressure. Tasks always are completed, sometimes in the eleventh hour, but always complete. Without that deadline looming over my head I find myself just being and I don't like that feeling at all.

I enjoy being productive. I just need a little momentum in the right direction. Well today that momentum came when I saw the grey storm clouds heading our way. I fully intended on helping Nathan in the yard this evening, but with rain almost inevitable I knew that would spoil his plans and the grass would go uncut. So I changed my clothes, put on my old tennis shoes and cranked the lawn mower. I cranked it again, and again and again. Almost defeated I tried one more time and it started. With no money to buy an anniversary gift I would give him something even more precious...my time! Even better, my time doing something I truly hate to do.

I guess I should be a little bit more like my Taylor. You see on that winter day when each attempt failed there was one common thread. She refused to give up. She would take a break and then start over and in the end she finally prevailed. I'm still struggling finding the motivation to do the things on my list. You see, mowing the lawn wasn't even on my list. It was productive. I felt great when I saw the smile it brought to my handsome husbands face, but it still wasn't on my list.

I'm interested to hear how you motivate yourself when no one even knows or possibly cares your list exists.