My moonbeam...

So Thursday was my Kaitlyn Bell's fifth birthday. I actually surprised myself at how well I handled the day. I haven't been looking forward to her birthday at all this year. Yes I wanted to make it special, but for some reason her becoming five isn't sitting well with me. Listen to me, "for some reason", we all know the reason, which is I never thought Kaitlyn would be my last child and maybe she isn't, but for now the idea that my baby, my last baby, is turning five isn't sitting well with me. I know it is only a number, but it is the first of many milestones that represent she won't be little forever.

Several weeks ago we watched The Sound of Music for family movie night and the girls have been singing the songs ever since. There is one song in particular that I can't seem to get out of my head. It is at the beginning of the movie when the nuns are discussing Maria and they begin to sing the song "Maria". My Kaitlyn reminds me a lot of the leading lady, Maria, in this movie. She loves to sing. She always has the best interest of others in mind. And, as these nuns describe so well,

"She'd out pester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle! She is wild!
She's a riddle! She's a child!
She's a headache! She's an angel!
She's a girl!"

Maria isn't like the other nuns. She does things that aren't predictable. During the song there is one nun who always brings it back into context. She asks questions like, "How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?", "How do you keep a wave upon the sand?", and "How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?"

The more I think about this song, these words and these questions, I realize that I don't want to hold my Kaitlyn back. I don't want to pin her down or keep her from becoming who she is meant to be. She is amazing and I know that she always will be.


Since she had a surprise birthday party last weekend at my parents' home I wanted to still make her day special. We were only going to have a small celebration here at our house. We'd have dinner, cake and then open Grandmama Hawthorne's present. My sister, Jamie, gave me a great idea. "Why don't you get her a special birthday outfit she can wear to school", she suggested. And that is what I did. Then I remembered how my other sister, K.C., always decorates her girls' room on their birthday and I stole that idea too.

So Wednesday night after we got home from church I made a Happy Birthday poster, blew up balloons and laid out her special birthday outfit.

Kaitlyn was so surprised and excited.


When Nathan got home from work we had our special birthday dinner. Kaitlyn chose the menu. We ate red beans and rice with sausage, one of her favorites. I decided that we would use Grandmama Hawthorne's china to make it special, which Nathan wasn't too thrilled about. He was fusing in the picture below because he would have to hand wash all of the plates rather than just put them in the dishwasher. You see the rule in our house has always been whoever cooks doesn't do the dishes. Like I said he wasn't thrilled in the least.


After dinner we sang and ate cake. Kaitlyn had been telling me she wanted a chocolate cake with chocolate icing for weeks, but when we got to the store to pick it out and she saw this pink cake she immediately changed her tune. When asked why she changed her mind she simply said, "because it is so pretty". And that is Kaitlyn for you.


As hard as the past few weeks leading up to this day have been I am thrilled with who my Kaitlyn Bell is becoming. I wouldn't change her for the world. She is truly unique, one of a kind, priceless and precious.

I love you my K.B., I always have and I always will! You and your big sister are living proof that God does answer prayers!


And although I may not want to catch my cloud and pin her down or keep my wave upon the sand. I do know this, I will never reach the point where I do not want to still hold my moonbeam in my hand.