In the life of a child...

"How do you do it?" is a question I've been asked so many times that I stopped counting. Just when I think I've SEEN IT ALL something else bad happens to a child and my heart literally breaks! President Hinckley once said "How much more beautiful would be the world and the societies in which we live if every father and mother looked upon their children as the most precious of their assets, if they led them by the power of their example in kindness and love, and if in times of stress blessed by the authority of the holy priesthood, and if they regarded their children as the jewels of their lives, as gifts from the God of heaven who is their Eternal Father, and brought them up with true affection in the wisdom and admonition of the Lord."

I wish the world were perfect! I wish there was no need for my job! I wish that every child knew of their infinite worth and that they are a child of God. I wish that no child ever had to wonder if they will have food to eat, a place to sleep, need to hide again from hands that are going to hurt them instead of help them and if anyone, just one person loves them.

This week was suppose to be an easy week at work. I was spending Wednesday, Thursday and today at the Statewide Dependency Summit in Orlando. Three days to listen, learn and come together in collaboration to keep children safe! To the contrary yesterday and today were two of the hardest days I've had in my career since leaving the field as a case manager. A sibling group, all under the age of 5, were to be separated, having done NOTHING wrong and yet wondering WHY? All the while trusting completely the child welfare professionals in their lives to do the right thing! A teenager, because of the selfish decisions of the adults that our Heavenly Father entrusted her precious life to, is now having behavioral issues that are escalating to the extent that she will more than likely have to be placed in a residential facility. My heart literally breaks! I know the answer, but am still faced with my heart asking WHY, WHY, WHY????????????????????

My thoughts have turned to choices and their consequences today. I've learned through the years that the consequences to our choices not only affect our lives, but they all too often impact the lives of others; sometimes with lasting effects! I remember hearing one time that "the gate of history turns on small hinges, and so do people's lives". The choices we make will determine our destiny.

I may not know WHY a parent would choose to leave their child alone at night while going to a club, would choose to buy drugs rather than groceries, would sleep all day to never know if their child arrived safely at school, or use their child's arm as an ash tray. I will never understand, but what I do KNOW, with all that I am, is that agency is an essential part of the plan of salvation. I know that Heavenly Father has given us the ability to choose and act for ourselves. Without it, we would not be able to learn or progress. With it, we are free to choose for ourselves liberty and eternal life or captivity and death (2 Nephi 2:27).

What I do KNOW is that it is vital to know that there really is a God, that there really is a Savior, Jesus Christ, that there really is impending immortality for all, and that there really will be a judgment with genuine personal accountability. We WILL be held accountable for the choices we make and at some future day, everyone, including those parents, will each hear the voice of the Lord calling us forward to render an account of our earthly experience. It was Jesus Himself who, declared, “Whoso shall offend one of these little ones … , it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea”.

Yet what I struggle with daily is the fact that this knowledge SHOULD bring me peace! This knowledge SHOULD give me comfort! I wish it did, but how can you have peace, how can you be comforted when you look into a child's eyes, that has been so physically beaten the scars will never fade, and try to answer the question "Why"?

I stumbled into the child welfare field by accident over ten years ago. I thought I was accepting a job to be a delinquency clerk and found myself in dependency court. Since then I have come to find my true calling in life. I consider myself in every essence of the words a "child advocate"! My job isn't from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday thru Friday. When I see a child in need, I respond. Always assessing the situation and ensuring the safety of my own children first, but always to respond. A child lost or left alone in a running car while "I just ran into the store for one minute" or not in a car seat or simply throwing a royal fit for mom in the grocery store. The list is endless. My response is never identical to the last and is always with true compassion. I firmly believe that our works are the result of our choices. I CHOOSE to make a difference! I CHOOSE to care! I CHOOSE to help!

I must however, begin in MY own home; with MY own children! The way to make good choices is to follow our Savior's example. I must see my children as the Savior sees them...

innocent...pure...children of God with endless potential. I must have unconditional love, be kind, patient, understanding, compassionate, nonjudgmental, and teach them the tools necessary to reach for their dreams. Let's not forget to have FUN! I am constantly faced with the challenge to not be so serious all of the time. If we can't have fun with our children who can we have fun with? It is important, if not vital, to let our children see us smile, be silly and act like kids! We need to take the time to truly enjoy life regardless of its ups and downs!

So back to the infamous question "how do you do it?". Well, first and foremost, with the strength of my Savior, the gift of the Holy Ghost and simply one day at a time; one child at a time! "One hundred years from now, It won't matter what car I drove. What kind of house I lived in. How much I had in my bank account. Nor what my clothes looked like. But, the world may be a little better Because I was important in the life of a child." Author Unknown