Do you see...

I guess I should start with a little bit of back ground. I teach a class once a month that is a part of a court ordered diversion program. The lesson's content cover an array of topics that range from trust, friendships, and responsibility to honesty. It never ceases to amaze me how each and every time we cover the honesty section which has different "what would you do" scenarios everyone always has there own perception of what is acceptable and not.

One student might think it is perfectly fine not to pay for a drink or meal that they've purchased because it isn't their fault the waiter made a mistake. While another person might think that "isn't cool at all" because they use to wait tables and when they made mistakes like that it came out of their paycheck. Someone else might say I'd never not pay for something I've ordered and received, but if my child is 6 and children 5 and under get in free I'll say that my child is 5 just so I don't have to pay the admission. Then the same person who would not pay for their meal pipes up and says that not paying the admission is only teaching their children to be dishonest.

Hmmmm, do you see where it can be amazing to listen to the conversation as it unfolds? The point I make to the class is that we all see things differently and have our own perceptions of right and wrong. Inevitably someone always asks me what would I do. What would I do? Now that is an interestedly question. And then I tell them this story.

When I was a teenager I must have either stolen something or been dishonest about something because although I don't remember what I did, I do, however remember this conversation with my father:

Me (sarcastically): "So you mean to tell me that if I you found fifty cents in a coke machine you wouldn't take it."

Dad (quite calm): "No and let me tell you why."

Me (doubtful and insert eye roll): "Why?"

Dad (still unbelievably calm): "Because my integrity is worth more that fifty cents. It is worth more than a penny and it is worth more than a million dollars."

I've never forgotten the lesson he taught me that day. Although I haven't always made the best of decisions (and I tell the class this) I have come a long way and I know that we all can be a person of integrity if we choose to do so.

A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a co-worker about the same thing. I don't remember how we got on the subject, but I was telling her of a newspaper article on how the newspaper had planted thirteen wallets all over the city with contact information and five dollars in it. Five out of the thirteen were returned. The article focused not on the ones that had been stolen, but the integrity of the people who had returned the wallets.

My co-worker said that she never even opens the wallet, she simply turns it over to a store manager. I on the other hand said that I always want to contact the individual personally because I know I am not going to take anything out of the wallet, but cannot say the same for the manager. We talked about my class and then she asked me what would I do if I found a penny. I told her that was interesting because I use to always leave it on the ground until one day when I read an email about how our US coins have the words "In God We Trust" on them and in the opinion of the author, we shouldn't leave something so sacred on the ground. Ever since I can't seem to pass them buy without picking them up.

"Ah ha!", she said, "so you keep them". I felt like I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar.

"Well I guess I do." I said almost sheepishly.

"Then isn't that a bit hypocritical?"

"Well I guess it is. Especially since I have my girls give any money they find on the floor of the grocery store to the clerk."

The entire conversation started me thinking.

The very same day about an hour or two later I was leaving a store when I found not one, but eight pennies on the ground outside of the door of my car. I was in a quandary. Do I leave the pennies there or do I pick it up because my Father in Heaven's name is sacred to me? I hesitated and then picked them up, but instead of dropping them into the arm rest of my car like I had done so many times before, I turned right back around and gave them to the store clerk inside. You see my integrity is worth more than eight cents. The experience was over and life moved on, but another impression that I will never forget was made. This time by a co-worker.

I've mentioned from time to time that money is tight. We knew when Nathan accepted the job transfer last year that this is where our family is supposed to be, at least for this season in our life. We had saved and with his moving allowance we felt comfortable with me taking the summer off. There is job security working in the child welfare field, unfortunately. We thought it would be simple for me to find a job with my qualifications and experience. We thought wrong, August came and went. September came and went. In October I was offered a part-time job teaching the above class once a month. It was a blessing but no where near what we needed to supplement our income. November came and almost went when I was offered another part-time job. This time it was a reasonable hourly rate and would give me the flexibility to take care of the girls. And so the end of December I started my new job right about the time we found out our renters had left our home where we moved from without telling anyone. We now had to find the money to pay our mortgage again.

Month after month money got tighter. I didn't realize just how reliant we had become on our credit cards, that is until we decided not to use them anymore. Yep, just like that we went cold turkey and it was like ripping off a band aid. Painful at first, but what was best in the end. I am tracking our expenditures to the penny now (Latisha would be so proud). This way we can come up with an actual, tangible, know what we really need budget. Although I know we are doing what is best for our family and our future, it doesn't mean I like what I see some days, most days. However, it is like I tell the families I work with every day when I do budgeting classes, regardless of what your income may be when you track your spending you become in control of your finances. It is empowering and I believe that.

So last night as I was becoming empowered. I was also looking at the dollar amount on our tithing check. "That is more than we spend on groceries", I thought to myself. And then I reminded myself that it isn't mine to keep. It would be okay. We would be okay! The Lord will bless us for our faithfulness.

I haven't always had a strong testimony of paying tithing. One tenth of my increase although isn't much, it is a lot. Over the years my testimony has grown. At first by the example of my husband. Then with each small but remarkable experience I saw the Lord's hand in our lives and my testimony grew even stronger. Like the time we met for tithing settlement, had no idea how we would afford Christmas and when we received our statement we had over paid in tithing. How, I have no idea, but it was the exact amount of the check in my check book waiting to be paid for Nathan's last paycheck of the year. Christmas was modest, but we had Christmas.

After writing that check last night and updating our checkbook I decided to check my work email. There was an email from the Prevention Coordinator, my supervisor's boss. I was to see her by COB (close of business) today. When I met with her today my testimony of not only paying my tithing, but more importantly the significance of being obedient was once again strengthened.

I had been given a raise she told me as she handed me a piece of paper. I hadn't even looked to see the amount and yet my heart was full, my eyes began to tear and I knew that my Heavenly Father had blessed me, had blessed us! She gave me a big hug and said she understood. I told her there was no way I could express my gratitude, but wanted her to know that this is truly a blessing for my family.

Now do you see why a penny on the ground is so sacred to me? IN GOD "I" TRUST! One of my favorite quotes of all time was something President Spencer W. Kimball once taught, "God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs." Like always today He met my needs!