With all my heart...

If only every day were like this!

5:43 p.m.
UGGGGGG...KAAAAAAYTLYN, STOOOOOOOOOOOOP IT" rang through the house. It was Taylor and she was once again annoyed with the fact that her baby sister wanted what she had. I stopped what I was doing and immediately went for my stop sign. Yes, a stop sign! It is a hand sign that I found a our local school supply store last week. I decided awhile ago that I yell too much and have been trying very hard to be conscientious about my tone of voice when disciplining the girls. So you can imagine my excitement when I found this small yet profound tool. What I do is when I hear something that I want to stop I get my "stop sign" and find the culprit. I do not say a word and just hold the stop sign in the air. It usually takes a few seconds, but they get the picture. Then I try to handle the situation as calmly as possible. Anyway, so I went for my stop sign and Taylor got the picture. The conversation went like this:

Me: "What's wrong?"

Taylor: "Well she is getting into my crayons and I can't put them where I want them to be and she is always getting into my stuff and I'm tired of it.

Me: "Whose crayons?"

Taylor: "Well hers, but I'm using them."

Me: "Did you ask her if you could use them?"

Taylor: "No, but I started this picture and now she is messing with them and I can't finish what I want to do. Why can't she just leave me alone?"

Me: "I'm sorry she's bothering you, but they are her crayons and you need to ask if you can use them. Why don't you try sharing?"

Taylor: "Kaitlyn, can I use your crayons?"

Kaitlyn: "No."

Me: "Kaitlyn, don't you like it when Taylor shares with you?"

Kaitlyn: "Yes."

Me: "Can Taylor please use your crayons?"

Kaitlyn: "Can I watch cartoons?"

Me: "Kaitlyn, will you please share and let Taylor use your crayons?"

Kaitlyn: "Here TayWer, here my crayons."

Me: "Taylor I don't want to hear you scream at her again. What are you suppose to do when she does something you don't like?"

Taylor: "Tell you."

Me: "Do it again and you'll end up going to bed early."

END OF CONVERSATION...Later that evening...

8:13 p.m.
"UGGGGGG...KAAAAAAYTLYN" rang through the house again. I didn't even look for the stop sign this time and just thought "You've got to be kidding me!" As I walked into my bedroom where Taylor had been watching T.V. I saw Kaitlyn (a.k.a. the culprit) standing in front of a T.V. that was no longer on. I looked at Taylor and said very calmly, "Go get your pajamas on and go to bed." The tears began to flow, life was not fair and my little, big girl was devastated. I then heard from their bedroom, "This is all your fault!" escape Taylor's lips. I decided that I needed to take the time and make this a learning opportunity. I needed to step back and reach out to my daughter.

A bit of history...
I was the middle of three sisters...K.C. is 7 years older and Jamie is 5 years younger than me. Needless to say we were not the best friends we are today growing up. I was the baby sister that made K.C. crazy and Jamie was the baby sister that made me crazy. So I can empathize!

The lesson...
As we sat in Nathan's recliner I held Taylor in my lap. I told her I knew exactly how she feels. Funny enough she spouted off "I know, I know, Aunt Jamie was your Kaitlyn". I explained that not only was that true, but I too was Aunt K.C.'s Kaitlyn and her Aunt K.C. could completely understand how she feels because she was the oldest sister.

I explained to her how hard I try not to make it her fault always just because she is older and should know better. I told her how I am trying desperately to teach Kaitlyn the difference between good and bad choices while holding her accountable for her decisions just as I did and still do for Taylor.

I asked her if she knew why Kaitlyn always wants to do what she is doing. "I don't know" was her reply. That is when the tears began to flow and this was my response! "Because she wants to be like you and I don't ever want her to not be like you! You are an amazing little girl! You are beautiful! You are kind! You have so many talents and you make good choices. I pray that Kaitlyn will be like you as she gets older and I hope you never change. You are so special and have so much you can teach your little sister. Someday I want her to be your best friend and I want your daughters to be best friends like you and Ashley. And I want your little girls to like something just because their older cousin does, just like you do with Amber." A smile and giggle slipped through her slowly dissolving frown.

Taylor is such a sensitive child and feels everything with her entire heart. It touches her so deeply when she sees that something has touched me, especially when I cry. It was a beautiful moment that I will never forget.

8:58 p.m.
Nathan brought this to me just a few moments ago:

Me too, baby! Me too!!!!